I loved your book and shared it with my horsey and non-horsey friends. They loved it too. You have a genuine way with words. You made me laugh and smile, and think. You put me right there with you and Kathleen during your travels. Thank you for bringing your story to print and sharing it with the world.

But I whole heartedly disagree with you on this point. Are you looking at natural horsemanship from within or without? It’s not about the rope halter, the stick, the lead or the rope. It’s about putting the relationship first. It’s about putting the dignity of the horse first. At least that’s what I’ve learned from the Parelli’s.

During a time when some horses are being cast aside like trash…forgotten, neglected, abused, overbred…I am grateful for the Parelli’s. They have kept me safe and sane since I fulfilled my childhood dream of bringing this noble creature into my life. Mine is a dream that could have turned into a nightmare quite easily. Of all the horses I picked one that while gentle natured, proved to be quite challenging for me. I wasn’t raised around horses and did not have the benefit of having a horsewise person around to help me. And I observed all the horseman out there; every method, every approach. But only one truly aligned with my heart, naturally, from the beginning. It mades sense to me, but more importantly it reminds me that learning is a lifelong process. It should never end. We can always learn something new.

Everyday Duke teaches me something. Everyday he gives me a little gift. I consider myself lucky to have found him. He keeps me humble, and reminds me of what’s really important.

Someone once told me that when it comes to advice and guidance, generally people don’t appreciate it unless it has value. Free advice isn’t always free, and the best advice comes with its own price.

When it comes to horses, I’ve learned there are as many opinions out there as there are horses. Everyone’s an expert, everyone has the right way. But, thanks to Parelli I found a way to be with a horse that applies not just to horses, but to all my relationships…through love, language and leadership in equal doses. Do you know anyone who wouldn’t benefit from that?

So Joe, I completely understand your comment that the term “Natural Horsemanship” can be a source of dis-connection. But I personally don’t think it’s because any single NH method or vendor is to blame…..I think it’s because human beings have a tendency to need to be RIGHT, and determine that “others” are NOT right. I am a learning horseman – but I am a professional Human Resources Director – and through the years, I’ve seen it time and again. People cannot stand it others don’t do things EXACTLY LIKE them. People can’t stand it if others don’t approve of them, or if they don’t walk in lock-step.

The truth of the matter is, there is more than one way through life. And many of those ways are as good as others, or end up at teh same place, and are similar paths. What I think is important is that we give each other grace where we can….that we allow that what resonates best wtih you may not resonate the same way with me…..but that doesn’t mean that I should negate your needs or approach – and vice versa. As long as we are “both” trying to follow the path of what is “right” – (and in this case specifically, I am talking about the having-horses-in-our-lives path) – that is, treat them with the respect that they deserve, and try and not “change” them to meet our industrial, militant, control-oriented needs, I would like very much if we can allow that there is room for any and all methods that uses non-violence, “natural” and horse-centric approaches.

I recently heard a minister who visted a “3rd world” country who was offering support to the churches trying to get a foothold in that country. when asked what are the greatest challenges those first generation churches face, their answer was, themselves. Because once we all kinda start believing the same thing, then we suddenly start finding fault with the very believers we once felt kinship with. Because humans have a tendency to want everyone to think about things exactly the same way……

let’s not be guilty of this among ourselves. I think our boundary-less support of the overriding goal of “keeping it as natural as possible” should be the lubricant for the minor differences.

Joe, I am a supporter. Love the site, love the perspective, love the push in support of horses. I continue to look to understand the soul of my horse.

Thanks for your forebearance to this long post!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I’m grateful for horses and ALL of us who are trying.

So, I started looking for help. I believed he was a good horse. I believed it was probably “my” fault – that I didn’t see whatever it was that scared him, that it was something I needed to do differently. I read, I asked, I talked, I searched, I cried, gave up, started again…..and all with trainers and “horse” experts who were openly disdainful of any of the names I mention above. And my horse continued to hate me, and be scared of anything I asked him to do.

So, in a final act of desperation – (for I had come to the point that I had actually listed him for sale – because it was clear that none of the 10+ trainers and host of individual horse owners had helped me know what to do differently – and I knew he deserved to be with someone who understood him better) – I attended an “Natural Horsemanship” event. For the first time, I began to hear language that gave me a glimpse into how a horse looks at things. For the first time, I got some clues as to what I might could do differently that would build on the horse’s nature – instead of using a tie-down or a long-shank or a yank……..I understood optional methods I HAD NEVER HEARD OF IN MY ENTIRE NATURAL AND UN-NATURAL LIFE!

And it was like someone had opened the door from the dark room I was wandering around in – and I could see a way out into the light!

So, I adopted the methods. I began to do “the speak”, thinking in the framework the “Natural Horsemanship” trainer used. Because it was A way, it was a GOOD way, and it was on the road back to the NATURAL way I had been many years before.

I’d like to comment on the term “natural.” I will admit, I use “Parelli” methods – not because I think that method is the ONLY way, or the only RIGHT way – and I didn’t even really think of it specifically as “Natural Horsemanship.”….

I really kinda thought “Natural Horsemanship” was an approach that could be relatively applied to numerous great “horse enterprises” – which includes Parelli, Monty, Clint, and yes,now even Joe……not because it is a “patented”,
black-white “way” – but is simply an attempt to keep the transactions using the horse’s nature, as much as possible. This, as opposed to mechanical means, articificial environments, “additives” or “improvements” (NOT) to the horse’s pure form.

What I know, for a fact, is that as a little girl on a farm, we had horses who were used to doing work; plowing, pulling – and yes, tolerating and toting a kissing, hugging, shy, barefoot, ADHD, little sister around, listening to her dreams of running wild-horse fast on their backs. Maybe that isn’t “natural” – but it certainly wasn’t UN-natural…..and all those horses knew it. And I know they knew it was about as “natural” as possible with that little girl is because, until I was an adult who met her first “traditionally”, 4-H show-trained horse, I literally did not know that a horse was a prey animal. Because when they were around me – that little kid – they weren’t.

So, I bought my first horse again after, oh – 20 – 25 years or so, as an adult….and this horse had NOT been trained using “Natural Horsemanship” methods. Parelli and Clint were SCOFFED at at the barn. “Useless”, “You can’t let a horse get away with that”, “Sticks and strings tricks”…..”What you really gotta do is…..” Well, because it had been a long time since I had been a little natural girl, I thought these folks probably knew more than me. And away I went with this horse. He was afraid to go out of his paddock. The road terrified him. He was nervous away from other horses. And, the first time I took him on a trail ride, in unfamiliar surroundings – he literally ran for his life……with me on him. My FIRST experience with an UN-Naturally trained horse.

However, I am sorry to see you get on the bandwagon of “Natural” nay-sayers. It seems to me that this trend has been en vogue for the last couple of years. I believe that Pat Parelli is widely acknowledged as the coiner of this term. He says that before that, Ray Hunt and the Dorrances, among others, referred to their unconventional, non-violent, and “from the horses viewpoint” perspective as “it”. As in, “did you hear that trainer XYZ is doing ‘it’ now”.

So, while it can be intellectually argued that anything we do with a horse is unnatural, I think we can also agree that having humans attempting to care for and communicate with horses from what is closer to the horses perspective is far more natural than what we had before.

It’s not just a question of the absolute nature of the naming, it’s also a matter of it’s relative nature and it’s context. To me, communicating with a horse in the relatively new understand/reward/gentle style is lots more natural than the old dominate/punish/break the spirit style of horsemanship.

Just my 2 cents worth…