The most amazing thing happened down at the barn! It reminded me why we have been so obsessive about getting the relationship right with each of our horses before anything else. Even before training. Relationship that gives the horse the choice, the free will to make it so. And what a difference it has made to this newcomer as he stumbled his way through the learning process. Our horses have never stopped trying, never stopped listening, never stopped giving. And they are with us because they want to be. As you will see in this video.
Why are we still where we are today, with so many owners of horses missing the very best part of horse ownership? The reason, I believe, is that most people do not begin at the beginning. They want to start halfway around the track, instead of in the starting gate.
I now have a horse. I want to do something with it. Go riding. Compete. Something!
We humans are in such a hurry that there’s no time to build a relationship. To learn to communicate. To gain and give understanding. To walk in the horse’s boots, so to speak.
To begin at the beginning.
The beginning for us was building relationship through our discovery of Monty Roberts and his Join-Up process.
Why?
I ask that question a lot.
To a fault.
Kathleen says it often seems that why is the only word I know.
Whyyyy?
So, why do I feel so strongly about Monty Roberts’ Join-Up?
Because it answers the why questions right up front:
Why does it work?
Because it speaks to the horse’s genetics in the horse’s own language, the language of the herd. Which is all built upon the fact that the horse is a prey animal, a flight animal. And safety and security are his number one concern, at the top of his forever wish list. The horse would always rather be in a safe and secure relationship than not.
Why do you say anyone can do it?
Because it’s simple. Easy to accomplish. Straight to the point, using a very specific “1-2-3” kind of “to-do” list that anyone can understand and handle. I managed to accomplish Join-Up after watching Monty’s DVD only twice (previous chapter).
Why does it cause the horse to – as you say – change forever?
Because the horse does the joining-up of his own free will. He chooses you, not vice-versa. It’s his choice whether or not to say to you I trust you to be my leader. If you in any way coerce the horse into being close to you, into accepting you or your training, there will be no change in the horse. The willingness, the “try” will not be there.
But… once the Join-Up has been accomplished of the horse’s choice, continuing to be a good leader is the number one goal. The determining factor of who leads who in the herd is who moves who. That means ground work on your part, and lots of it. And this is where a lot of folks get into trouble and don’t understand the outcome.
Many like to think that once Joined-Up the horse is going to be like a smoochie puppy. It’s all going to be cuddles and hugs and kisses. But a horse is not a smoochie puppy, not even close. The horse’s idea of a good relationship, first and foremost, is a feeling of safety. The security of knowing he is being lead by a good leader who will keep him safe. The horse doesn’t fall in love with the horse above him in the herd, or out of love with the one below him. And this is difficult for most humans to grasp. They want relationship to be an emotional thing, but it simply isn’t in the life and language of the herd. Yes, they can like being with you, but mostly it’s about security.
Not to say that once the horse’s security, his trust, is well in place there won’t be a bond. There will be. Very much so. It’ll just be different than what most humans perceive as a bond. There could even be a shared hug or kiss here and there with some horses, but not necessarily with all horses. It depends upon the personality of the horse. We have six and they’re all different. Some show moments of affection, some not so much. But the bond and relationship is strong with all of them.
And because of Join-up they all give back, try harder, and are more willing. And they all feel safe and comfortable when with Kathleen or myself.
What your relationship turns into after Join-Up depends upon you and how good a leader your are. In other words, how well and how easily you can move the horse’s every-body-part whenever and wherever you want. Another concept that is sometimes hard for humans to grasp: the simple idea that who moves who can determine leadership, bolster relationship, and select one’s place in the herd.
Is Monty’s Join-Up in a round pen the only way to begin a relationship with your horse?
No, of course not. There are more ways to Join Up than one can count.
Our Mouse had not been exposed to the round pen join-up when she made her choice to Join Up. It all happened with Monty in a “square pen”. In Iowa it took six men to get Mouse into a trailer to come to Monty. It took Monty ten minutes to convince her, using her language, to come to him and say I trust you to be my leader. A moment later Monty was addressing his group of students using Mouse’s back as a podium to lean on. Just amazing.
Saffron, our new mustang who came to us pregnant, from the wild via the BLM, made her choice on the evening of my birthday as Kathleen and I sat in her paddock during our regular No-Agenda Time. Like a switch was thrown. From zero to a hundred in an instant. See our blog post: An Amazing Birthday Gift from a Wild Mustang.
But every version of Join Up that truly works depends upon those two key ingredients that must be present or the relationship will never be what it should be, what it could be.
It must be the horse’s choice to trust you or not, to be in relationship with you, or not. And you must continue prove to the horse that you are his leader, a good leader. In his language. Those two ingredients are Monty’s secret ingredients. No one else, in my experience, has ever made it as clear or as simple as Monty.
Pat and Linda Parelli have their own way of accomplishing the same end relationship with their horses, which definitely includes giving the horse the choice to trust and be in relationship. They just don’t call it join-up and it’s not as simple or as “1-2-3” as Monty’s Join-Up.
Another thing about Join-Up that I find to be very cool is that very recently The International Society of Equitation Science published a scientific study comparing Monty’s Join-Up to a conventional training method used in the United Kingdom and found that the heart rates observed from Monty Roberts trained horses during first saddle and first rider were not only significantly lower than the conventional method, they were the lowest reported for any training regime reported in the literature to date. Further reporting that the technique of Join-up has been frequently criticized and reported in the literature to be a significant stressor due to the perceived opinion that this method overtly activates the flight response, the study could find no evidence that the use of the round pen or, indeed the technique of Join-up, was fear inducing and thus a significant stressor to the horse based on heart rate alone. “In fact, we found that the heart rate of horses during this technique were considerably below the maximum heart rate for horses of this age and breed.”
Still further, after 20 days of training (30 minutes/horse/day) the study horses undertook a standardized ridden obstacle and flatwork test and a ridden freestyle test. Monty’s trained horses scored significantly higher in all three tests as determined by a panel of judges who were unaware of the study or the trainers involved in the study.
The bottom line is that when we put in the time and effort, when we got the relationship and leadership right, when we did it from the horse’s end of the lead rope, not our own, our horses changed.
Every one of them.
Each differently perhaps, but change they did.
And always for the better.
Like Cash in the beginning, the others have never stopped trying, never stopped listening, never stopped giving.
Why would we do it any other way?
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Follow our latest journey! Two amazing new arrivals from the wild. Kathleen’s terrific photos are worth the click.
In chronological order:
What an Extraordinary Weekend!
Firestorm’s Amazing First Day in the Playpen
No-Agenda Time – So Much Value!
An Amazing Birthday Gift from a Wild Mustang!
Saffron and Firestorm – Progress and Photos – Lots of Both!
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From no horses and no clue to stumbling through mistakes, fear, fascination and frustration on a collision course with the ultimate discovery that something was very wrong in the world of horses.
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Joe,
Sure does go to show what a sentimental old broad I am! Sat here with tears flowing – thinking how I could have made my horses (& my) life so much better if only!
This is the way it should be! For all horses (and their people).
Keep on educating all of us.
Thanks
Maggie
You still can Maggie!!!!